Should Egg Donors Meet the Baby Born Through Their Donation?

Should egg donors be requested to meet the baby that is born through their donation? This is a very important question and there are many different opinions about what is right and what is not.

At New Life we have found this to be a very common wish among parents of babies born via egg donation. We often receive questions about the possibilities for the two parties to meet in person. Some parents also wishes for the egg donor to stay in touch with the child.

Although it is understandable that the proud and grateful parents want to show the baby to the woman who made it possible for them to have a family, it is not advisable. At our agency we do not recommend contact between the donor and the recipients of eggs- not when then the baby is born nor later in the child’s life.

The number one reason as to why it not advisable to let a donor and the baby meet is usually the situation of the donor. Most donors are quite young when they go through the process of donating their eggs. This is due to medical reasons, a woman’s eggs are of a higher quality during this period of her life.

At this stage the donor might be completely fine with meeting a child that has been born with the help of her donation, but later in life it might be a little bit harder to stay in contact. Usually donors will find it increasingly difficult when they have a family of their own. It is not always so easy to explain the decision they made to partners and children.

Show respect

There are a number of reasons why we advise against a meeting between the egg donor and the child born through said donation. All donors will of course feel differently, but in general egg donors do not wish to meet the babies. The most important thing in situations like this is to show respect, and understand the feelings of the counter part. Both parties in an egg donation have their own feelings and expectations when it comes to the donation process.

Donors decision

If the parents carries a particularly strong wish to introduce the child to the egg donor there is of course a possibility. The question can always be asked. But the parents should be aware that it is just that- a question or a request. Whether this meeting will take place or not is entirely up to the egg donor. She will decide if she wants to meet or not. No matter what her decision will be, it is something that the parents and the child must simply accept.

First and foremost it should be in everyone’s interest not to do anything that could cause the egg donor to regret the decision she made when donating her eggs. The wish is for all people involved to have a nice experience that runs smoothly and does not cause anyone to feel uncomfortable in any way, shape or form.